“Let me give you some advice, bastard: Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.” – Tyrion Lannister, A Game of Thrones
Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the Player One Paradox. You can call me Spencer.
Here’s a brief overview of how this came to be. An origin story, if you will:
I’ve dabbled in being one step short of the British woman in a Knife Party track. After one particularly disastrous series of interactions, my attention turned from who to why — to how exactly obsession worked and how I could make it less… self-destructive. Since then, I’ve still been tearing apart my catastrophes, but in a different way. Instead of just obsessing over loss I’ve been looking for things I can take out of them: patterns, observations about interaction in a broader sense, and more recently bits of progress from where I started. My eventual goal is not just to repair myself, but to create something other outcasts and misanthropes can use to do the same.
To be clear, many (ok, most) of these chains of events are my doing, to varying extents. You should know up front: this may be my story, but I am not the hero.
Here are some general notes:
- Anytime you see a proper noun, assume it’s fabricated.
- These entries jump around a lot between varying degrees of past tense. The common thread, however, is that whatever the reason, every entry will refer back to the ones that I’ve told prior. The whole thing will make a lot more sense if you read these in sequence.
- This blog contains a number of links to other sources. (This includes TVTropes. You have been warned.) Do try not to get lost.
Here’s an index:
1: Player One and a new character
2: Player One and rock bottom
3: Player One and the one that got away
4: Player One and origins
5: Player One and recurring bosses
6: Player One and theoretical limits
7: Player One and opposites
8: Player One and a past self
9: Player One and a casual connection
10: Player One and perceived loss
11: Player One and milestones
12: Player One and regression
13: Player One and honest mistakes
14: Player One and endgames
15: Player One and side quests
16: Player One and a normal ending
17: Player One and a widening circle